To the Editor:
Sometimes after walking and jamming to some great rock and roll, I like to go sit at one of the picnic tables, mellow out and listen to some slow tunes – just me and my dog.
Just look at the sky. “If you don’t know me by now, you’ll never, never, never know me,” would be one of my favorites.
As we get older, we get complicated. What was important yesterday may not be important today. Who we knew yesterday may not be recognizable today. And I reflect on that when I listen to that song because I think of my mom when she had Alzheimers and I think of how she took care of us back then but how we took care of her later. Not an easy job to be sure.
It was hard on my dad. All those years they were truly in love. It was hard in caring for her. It was harder for him in losing her. And when he was knocking on the door of death, I whispered in his ear and said to him, “Dad, it’s time for you to go. Mom is waiting for you and you know how impatient mom can be.”
This is a disease that rears its ugly head and leads us to treat who they become rather than knowing them as they were. Patience is a virtue. I used to say that to my grandchildren all the time when they got those crocodile tears when they heard the word, “No.” “Please, please, please, grandma, please.” “Patience, Emmie Rose, is a virtue.”
If anyone out there is caring for a memory challenged person, try really hard to not lose the person who you knew because who you knew is still there. I believe that with all my heart. I say that because, as I stood at the foot of my mom’s bed and I knew she was going to go, I looked in her eyes and I saw a tear roll down her cheek. At that moment, I knew she knew, also.
“If you don’t know me by now, you’ll never, never, never know me.”
I will always know and love you, mom. Happy Mothers Day!